Today I had a wonderful meditation practice. I came to my cushion with a light heart and a desire to be still. I wasn’t thinking of it as if it were an item on a “to do” list, or as something I felt obligated to do. It simply was what I wanted to do and so I did it.
In my meditation today, I realized that everything I need to know, I already have within me. Whatever issue that I’m struggling with, whatever concept is difficult to grasp, whatever problem that seems on the surface to be inextricable or insurmountable — I have the solution inside of me. I’ve said it to myself before… and I’ve really worked hard to grasp that concept, but now there is a shift going on inside of me where this realization is becoming more of a part of me. I am only wasting my energy when I struggle or fight with my problems. That gets me nowhere. I don’t need to read a billion books before finding my path or consult a thousand people before making a decision. Obstacles will always come up. Problems will always be there. Difficult decisions will always present themselves to us. But perhaps these obstacles, problems, or decisions exist in our lives in order to prompt us to go to that place of stillness — to go within and discover our truest and best path.
I have recently let go of my attachment to the yoga studio that I love so much, which I believe could be a big part of this realization becoming so real to me. That’s not to say that I’ve given up going there to practice. I do continue to go there, but perhaps a bit less frequently. I also still dearly love all of the people who have touched my life — they truly are wonderful people who have given me encouragement and immeasurable inspiration. The light that they shine was one that I found; and I am so grateful that it has forever changed my life. But I discovered recently that I had become attached and dependent upon them for my growth. When things changed and I felt let down, it was so painful to me… partially because I had been so attached. I continued on in my journey, worked through my hurt, found peace, and suddenly began to find my own way. I’ve given myself time to be quiet. I’ve slowly given myself freedom from so many obligations, chores, attachments, and endless stimulations from activity and have just let myself find stillness. It is the sweetest, most precious medicine to be still, especially in our hectic world. In doing so, I’ve discovered answers to questions that have always been there.
If I spend all of my time only listening to the voices of other people, I will never give myself a chance to hear my own inner voice!
More and more I am beginning to trust myself and the universe that everything is already there, and then allow myself the space (and time) for it to be revealed to me. I’ve made a New Year’s Resolution to meditate every day. Since then, life has become a lot less of a struggle. It’s become lighter and easier. The problems and obstacles, puzzles and questions are still there — and they always will be there. But if you let it, your inner voice will come up to help you find your way.
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